Saturday, February 20, 2010

Week 39 . . . . this is the end my friend

I've made it to week 39. As I look back at this experience (and I know, I have another HUGE experience to go through soon), I'm not really thrilled with the pregnancy experience. The middle was fine, except that I couldn't lift things or do things like I was used to (very frustrating). This ending has been awful! How can a tiny little baby pinpoint the exact nerve that leaves me basically debilitated? I'm ready for Monday! In fact, I'm ready for before Monday. I have been trying to "encourage" labor on my own these last few days. I don't think it's working. I feel kind of crampy, but no real "pain". The baby sure did move a lot last night though! I'm not sure where it thought it was going, but it started to get ridiculous! And that does hurt after a while, the kicking and shifting.

Matt is very excited about having this child out and into the world and that warms my heart more than anyone will ever know. He's never held a real newborn (he held his niece at 1 month) and he's never changed a diaper (except for his sister's Cabbage Patch Kid, which I'm pretty sure doesn't count because they don't have failing arms and legs and can't cry or pee on you during the process). I'm very excited to see how he interacts with his child!

This morning a Quaker friend of mine e-mailed me a poem she found that really sums up how I feel about this child. It's called The Alien by Greg Delanty. This is how I feel now and how I've felt throughout this pregnancy. Just who are you alien baby? What do you look like? Will you love me? I guess all answers will be reveled on Monday.

Keep me in your thoughts, prayers, or in the Light (whichever religious persuasion you may have) on Monday. I read a statistic that when women are given pitocin to induce labor, they are more likely to end up having a cesarean operation. I've been cut open before (for a good cause - I love you Eugene!), but don't really want to be again. I'd like for my child to enter the world the way the majority of babies do - the journey through the tunnel of warm and dark into the bright cold lights of the world and ultimately into my loving arms. I'm feeling very solemn and poetic today for some reason. This is the end my friend.

Below is the poem I referred to earlier (and I don't want to hear anything from my fellow Media Specialists about copyright! I cited the source). And now I'm off to spend one of the last days with my wonderful husband together as a couple before we become a family. Cheers!

The Alien

I'm back again scrutinizing the Milky Way
of your ultrasound, scanning the dark
matter, the nothingness, that now the heads say
is chockablock with quarks & squarks,
gravitons & gravitini, photons & photinos. Our sprout,

who art there inside the spacecraft
of your ma, the time capsule of this printout,
hurling & whirling towards us, it's all daft
on this earth. Our alien who art in the heavens,
our Martian, our little green man, we're anxious

to make contact, to ask questions
about the heavendom you hail from, to discuss
the whole shebang of the beginning & end,
the pre–big bang untime before you forget the why
and lie of thy first place. And, our friend,

to say Welcome, that we mean no harm, we'd die
for you even, that we pray you're not here
to subdue us, that we'd put away
our ray guns, missiles, attitude and share
our world with you, little big head, if only you stay.

"The Alien" by Greg Delanty, from The Ship of Birth. © Louisiana State University Press, 2007.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Week 37 - No News is Good News?

Today was my 37-week doctor's appointment and there was really no news. I was kind of hoping for some news because I'm over this thing called pregnancy. I was actually checked at this appointment (my first time!) and he said I was barely dilated. Maybe just 1/2 inch he said. Just wonderful!! So much for getting this baby out this week. And he actually touched the head! That's weird to me that a doctor can feel my baby's head before the baby's ready to come out. Crazy!

I'm very swollen right now, especially my hands and feet. The doctor said this is fine for me because I don't have any health issues. I'm just retaining water. My urine showed no protein and my blood pressure remains low, which means I'm just retaining water. No health concerns there. So my grandeur ideas of having a nice bout of bed rest went right out the window. It amazes me that I can feel this crappy, but still be "perfectly healthy". So no news I suppose if good news.

I will definitely be in this "baby" predicament through next week at least, so no need to worry everyone! The baby is still cooking. My 37-week photo is from a weird angle as I could not get Matt to stand up to take it - sorry. And yes, I am bending my arm in the photo in the hopes that by bending it it will make it look skinnier. You don't even want to see pictures of my swollen feet! By the way, I gained 4 pounds in the past three weeks!!!! Yikes!!!!

I'll update again next week after the 38-week appointment. Maybe we'll have different, more interesting news next week. Who knows?

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Week 36 break down

That's right, I had a break down today. Is it the hormones? Is it stress? I don't know, but it all started with the car seat. I sat down like a good little consumer and read the directions before even approaching the car. I had it all down - our car has the LATCH system, so installing the car seat is actually a breeze. . . . . in a normal sized car!!!!! But in a Toyota Yaris, forget about it. I had to move my seat up two clicks to get the thing to fit in there. How am supposed to drive like that? We'll see tomorrow now won't we?

So I became frustrated. My friend from UGA and fellow Media Specialist Beth Bartlett used to teach a car seat installation class, so my great idea was to send her a quick message. She must have felt the frustration through my words, because she promptly called me. She did assure me I had the car seat attached correctly, but she can't help me with a small car. Thank you Beth!

So with the assurance that I had it attached to the car correctly, I still felt totally frustrated and for some reason mad that I own a sub-compact car. This led to me walking back into the house and seeing a huge jogging stroller sitting on the floor, a high chair still in its box sitting on the floor, a pile of baby clothes yet to be delicately washed in Dreft, a recliner we need to get rid of, and a husband watching shows on the Internet. Even worse: a person from my work promised he would come to my house today and build me some shelves in my laundry closet, but he called at the last minute and canceled, leaving me looking at crap sitting everywhere that really should be neatly organized on some freaking shelves! I then proceeded to break down. We ARE NOT ready for a baby.

The husband's suggestion to the car seat (which he thought was the sole reason I was having a break down, go figure) dilemma? Let's install the car seat behind the passenger seat so it can be pushed all the way forward. One of us will always ride in the back seat with the baby. What?? One of us will be a chauffeur for over a year?? No thank you. I'll give him props for trying to make me stop crying though.

I just don't feel ready. I just don't feel prepared. And now after the break down, I've had a hot shower and I'm sitting here trying to ignore the back pain I'm feeling and I'm watching my belly rumble rumble. That's right, even in my frustration this baby continues to kick, hit, doing cartwheels maybe? I don't know, but moving, moving, moving. It's uncomfortable.

And to make matters even worse, I ran into a pregnant lady in the bathroom of a restaurant Saturday, who based upon her small size I was guessing was maybe 28 weeks pregnant. I asked her how far along she was. She said 35 weeks!! I'm only one week ahead of this lady who looks small and perfect??? It didn't help that she was wearing a cute name-brand maternity outfit and I was rocking a pair of black velor pants and tennis shoes. Don't think that lady didn't enter my mind today while I was breaking down? She did!

In the words of my last posting - - - I'm done!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Week 34 and I'm done. . .

Seriously! I've had it with being pregnant. The baby has now dropped, and I mean dropped. To the floor. How low can you go? When I stand up I feel like the baby will fall out. I can't even walk normal anymore. Teachers at school are giving me two weeks tops. But oh how I wish it was just two weeks to go! No, I have to live with this head down, butt up in my lungs baby for way more than two weeks! The baby is sitting all on my left side, and the picture is from my left side, so it's all baby there. (pardon the kidney transplant scar on my side, I didn't know that would show up so clearly)

I'm even garnering sympathy from the Wal-Mart greeter I saw today. Really? She met me with a "Oh! When is the baby due, next week?" No, I said, I have about six weeks to go. She didn't believe me and I'm sure it's because of the way I'm walking now.

I've been going to the doctor every two weeks now, but haven't posted anything because I didn't have much to say, until this baby dropped!!! Good news is I haven't gained very much weight since I last posted and from last appointment to today's appointment I haven't gain a pound. The midwife just consoled me and told me to perhaps get a belly massage or go swimming. But, hello, I am still working which involves a lot of getting up and getting down. It is absolute torture standing up from a sitting or laying position. I tried my darnedest last night to hold my pee because I didn't want the pain of getting up and out of the bed. But to no avail, the baby's head must be smushing my bladder. Who knows? I didn't know what baby body part I was feeling until the appointment today when she pointed out the butt to me. The butt, right at the top!

This post is not going so well. It actually sounds down right depressing, BUT for those of you who don't know me as well as my family, I am a complainer! A 100% all the time complainer! And this being pregnant situation is bringing it all out. I feel sorry for my Media Clerk who has to endure my complaining all day long. But luckily she's the nicest woman on earth and has a much more complaining daughter, so she deals with me just fine. She even empathizes with me, even though she hasn't been pregnant for 25 years.

Well, next appointment I get officially checked. They refused to check me today, even though I asked. I just have a crazy feeling I'm at least dilated to 1 cm. We'll see at the 36 week appointment now won't we! Then after that appointment, it's every week until birth day. All I ask of this baby is to hold on until after Feb. 6th, which is the Helen Ruffin Reading Bowl Competition in Jasper, GA. Several kids are relying on me. I feel confident I'll make it to then, but it will be sure hell all the way!

I'll probably start posting more frequently as time gets closer and as I get crankier, so stayed tuned! :)

Monday, December 14, 2009

Seven Months and Counting!

I'm a little late with the seven month update for a couple of reasons. The first being that my Father-in-law has unexpectedly been diagnosed with leukemia this past week. My husband went to West Virginia to be with him and to help out his Mom, so this left me with no one to take my official seven month picture. I had to wait until this weekend and have my Dad take my picture. For those of you who have asked, I don't know much about the leukemia except that chemo treatments will be starting soon and with him being so medically fragile it doesn't appear he will leave the hospital anytime soon. We're just taking it day by day, but like everything else my Father-in-law does, he will fight through this and be fine.

My second excuse however is a wonderful one! I had a baby shower this weekend! It was so much fun and I received so many cute baby things! The wonderful hostesses, LeAnn, Vickie, and Shannon purchased a miniature Christmas tree for me and asked the party goers to bring an ornament to decorate the tree! What a super awesome idea! I received the cutest ornaments! I can't thank those ladies enough for such a wonderful shower! The food was great, seeing friends that I hadn't seen in three years was great, receiving small little baby things was great! Needless to say, it was great! :)

My seven month doctor's appointment was last week and the doctor said I'm slightly anemic. Not so much so that he wants me on iron tablets, but enough so that he told me to eat more iron rich foods (how do you make chicken livers taste good? Yuck!). So that's something I need to keep an eye on. What's funny about him saying that is that throughout this pregnancy I've eaten more red meat than I ever have before (I'm not really a red meat fan). So one would conclude that I am taking in more iron than before I was pregnant, but I guess the baby needs even more than my measly red meat meals can handle.

I should also report that I am officially back up to the weight I was in 2005 before I went on Weight Watchers and lost 45 pounds. This makes me sad. :( I know what you're going to say, everyone has been saying it, "it's a different kind of weight". Well it's still weight isn't it? I was happy that even though the scale tipped that number, it only made for a three pound increase this month. That eased the pain a little. I just know that after this baby comes I will have an uphill battle to lose weight again. The 45 pounds in 2005-2006 was had enough to lose, but maybe if I'm prepared now it won't be so bad. This appointment also included the ever wonderful glucose test. But of course with the activity in my life I have forgotten to call the doctor's office and find out the results of the test. Hopefully my blood sugar is a-okay. I would hate to have gestational diabetes. They say having gestational diabetes means you are more likely to have Type 2 diabetes later in life. Yuck! Needles, and pricks, and numbers, oh my!

Okay this post has gone on long enough. Just know everything is fine. The baby enjoys doing somersaults in my belly, which hurt at times, and I'm as big as a house! Above this post is a photo of me, my mom, and the lovely ladies who hosted the baby shower yesterday! Thanks again ladies!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Week 24 (Better Known As 6-months)

Today was my 6-month doctor's appointment. Everything is the same - normal. I'm always just normal (yeah!). A couple of things happened at the doctor that did put things into perspective for me. First, I'm going to have a glucose test at my next appointment. This brings back horrible memories of the glucose test I had to take when I donated my kidney. That test was three hours long!! But the nurse assured me this test was only the one-hour kind, so that's good news.

The second thing that happened was that they told me that my next appointment will be my last monthly appointment. After that I switch to bi-monthly appointments. Every two weeks to the doctor! That really makes things hit home for me. Like the fact that 9 minus 6 is 3!!!!

I don't even want to discuss my weight except to unfortunately report that it did go up and not just the "little 4 pounds" it was supposed to. What the heck?? I've been walking after school and it's not like I eat horrible things (well, not everyday that is).

I have several events coming up to look forward to: my birthday is on Tuesday the 17th; Thanksgiving with my family and then round two with my in-laws (two meals - yummy!); and my baby shower on December 12th. I'm super excited about the baby shower. We've been in a holding pattern on buying things (except diapers) because we don't know what we need yet. Once the baby shower is over I can see what I have and what else I need to get. This will be another "hit home" occasion for us. Finalizing baby purchases will really make it seem close!

But all in all things are just dandy. I'm thoroughly round and the baby kicks the crap out of me daily. It actually stayed put when the doctor listened to the heartbeat (the first time that's happened). So everything's great! I happen to be in the same outfit this month, so you can really see the difference in my belly. Enjoy!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Halftime Report!

That's right, I'm halfway through my pregnancy! Yeah! 20 weeks down. Really I'm probably more than halfway through as I have a sneaky suspicion that I won't make it all the way to a full 40 weeks. But we'll see!

At today's doctor's appointment we had our 20-week sonogram. It was so cool! We could see the baby's spine, ribs, heart, all sorts of organs. While the sonogramist (is that a word?!?) was tooling around snapping pictures, the baby kicked one of it's feet forward - all the way up to it's head! How crazy is that! It's foot was almost in it's mouth! I find it so weird that the baby moves so much yet I barely feel a thing. Having never been pregnant before, I'm not sure what's a kick and what's not a kick, so there's no telling if I've been feeling kicks or not. Sometimes I feel pain in my lower abdomen, which I thought was the baby, but the doctor said it's just a nerve and that's common.

After the lady snapped all the necessary pictures of the baby, we all just sat and watched the baby move (she was making us a DVD). And guess what?? Once we sat and tried to watch the baby move - the baby stopped moving! It just sat there! She prodded my belly, pushed my belly, giggled my belly, but that baby just stayed put. It was like it knew we were just waiting and watching. She did say she saw the baby stick it's tongue in and out. But honestly, I couldn't make that out, so I'll just take her word for it.

For those of you who haven't heard me complain on a daily basis, I can't sleep!!! I'm already having trouble getting into just the right position at night and it's driving me crazy! We actually own a body pillow (I have no idea why we own it, but we bought it long ago) and I've tried positioning myself in and around it, but I still find myself tossing and turning. So I suppose it'll be four more months of restless sleep! Great!

Anyway, I'm rambling, but basically everything was well at the doctor. All the correct body parts, great heartbeat, no issues with me except that I gained 5 pounds!!!! But all in all everything is going according to plan. No issues, no complications. Thank the Lord.

Until next time. . . .