Sunday, January 31, 2010

Week 36 break down

That's right, I had a break down today. Is it the hormones? Is it stress? I don't know, but it all started with the car seat. I sat down like a good little consumer and read the directions before even approaching the car. I had it all down - our car has the LATCH system, so installing the car seat is actually a breeze. . . . . in a normal sized car!!!!! But in a Toyota Yaris, forget about it. I had to move my seat up two clicks to get the thing to fit in there. How am supposed to drive like that? We'll see tomorrow now won't we?

So I became frustrated. My friend from UGA and fellow Media Specialist Beth Bartlett used to teach a car seat installation class, so my great idea was to send her a quick message. She must have felt the frustration through my words, because she promptly called me. She did assure me I had the car seat attached correctly, but she can't help me with a small car. Thank you Beth!

So with the assurance that I had it attached to the car correctly, I still felt totally frustrated and for some reason mad that I own a sub-compact car. This led to me walking back into the house and seeing a huge jogging stroller sitting on the floor, a high chair still in its box sitting on the floor, a pile of baby clothes yet to be delicately washed in Dreft, a recliner we need to get rid of, and a husband watching shows on the Internet. Even worse: a person from my work promised he would come to my house today and build me some shelves in my laundry closet, but he called at the last minute and canceled, leaving me looking at crap sitting everywhere that really should be neatly organized on some freaking shelves! I then proceeded to break down. We ARE NOT ready for a baby.

The husband's suggestion to the car seat (which he thought was the sole reason I was having a break down, go figure) dilemma? Let's install the car seat behind the passenger seat so it can be pushed all the way forward. One of us will always ride in the back seat with the baby. What?? One of us will be a chauffeur for over a year?? No thank you. I'll give him props for trying to make me stop crying though.

I just don't feel ready. I just don't feel prepared. And now after the break down, I've had a hot shower and I'm sitting here trying to ignore the back pain I'm feeling and I'm watching my belly rumble rumble. That's right, even in my frustration this baby continues to kick, hit, doing cartwheels maybe? I don't know, but moving, moving, moving. It's uncomfortable.

And to make matters even worse, I ran into a pregnant lady in the bathroom of a restaurant Saturday, who based upon her small size I was guessing was maybe 28 weeks pregnant. I asked her how far along she was. She said 35 weeks!! I'm only one week ahead of this lady who looks small and perfect??? It didn't help that she was wearing a cute name-brand maternity outfit and I was rocking a pair of black velor pants and tennis shoes. Don't think that lady didn't enter my mind today while I was breaking down? She did!

In the words of my last posting - - - I'm done!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Week 34 and I'm done. . .


Seriously! I've had it with being pregnant. The baby has now dropped, and I mean dropped. To the floor. How low can you go? When I stand up I feel like the baby will fall out. I can't even walk normal anymore. Teachers at school are giving me two weeks tops. But oh how I wish it was just two weeks to go! No, I have to live with this head down, butt up in my lungs baby for way more than two weeks! The baby is sitting all on my left side, and the picture is from my left side, so it's all baby there. (pardon the kidney transplant scar on my side, I didn't know that would show up so clearly)

I'm even garnering sympathy from the Wal-Mart greeter I saw today. Really? She met me with a "Oh! When is the baby due, next week?" No, I said, I have about six weeks to go. She didn't believe me and I'm sure it's because of the way I'm walking now.

I've been going to the doctor every two weeks now, but haven't posted anything because I didn't have much to say, until this baby dropped!!! Good news is I haven't gained very much weight since I last posted and from last appointment to today's appointment I haven't gain a pound. The midwife just consoled me and told me to perhaps get a belly massage or go swimming. But, hello, I am still working which involves a lot of getting up and getting down. It is absolute torture standing up from a sitting or laying position. I tried my darnedest last night to hold my pee because I didn't want the pain of getting up and out of the bed. But to no avail, the baby's head must be smushing my bladder. Who knows? I didn't know what baby body part I was feeling until the appointment today when she pointed out the butt to me. The butt, right at the top!

This post is not going so well. It actually sounds down right depressing, BUT for those of you who don't know me as well as my family, I am a complainer! A 100% all the time complainer! And this being pregnant situation is bringing it all out. I feel sorry for my Media Clerk who has to endure my complaining all day long. But luckily she's the nicest woman on earth and has a much more complaining daughter, so she deals with me just fine. She even empathizes with me, even though she hasn't been pregnant for 25 years.

Well, next appointment I get officially checked. They refused to check me today, even though I asked. I just have a crazy feeling I'm at least dilated to 1 cm. We'll see at the 36 week appointment now won't we! Then after that appointment, it's every week until birth day. All I ask of this baby is to hold on until after Feb. 6th, which is the Helen Ruffin Reading Bowl Competition in Jasper, GA. Several kids are relying on me. I feel confident I'll make it to then, but it will be sure hell all the way!

I'll probably start posting more frequently as time gets closer and as I get crankier, so stayed tuned! :)