Week 36 break down

That's right, I had a break down today. Is it the hormones? Is it stress? I don't know, but it all started with the car seat. I sat down like a good little consumer and read the directions before even approaching the car. I had it all down - our car has the LATCH system, so installing the car seat is actually a breeze. . . . . in a normal sized car!!!!! But in a Toyota Yaris, forget about it. I had to move my seat up two clicks to get the thing to fit in there. How am supposed to drive like that? We'll see tomorrow now won't we?

So I became frustrated. My friend from UGA and fellow Media Specialist Beth Bartlett used to teach a car seat installation class, so my great idea was to send her a quick message. She must have felt the frustration through my words, because she promptly called me. She did assure me I had the car seat attached correctly, but she can't help me with a small car. Thank you Beth!

So with the assurance that I had it attached to the car correctly, I still felt totally frustrated and for some reason mad that I own a sub-compact car. This led to me walking back into the house and seeing a huge jogging stroller sitting on the floor, a high chair still in its box sitting on the floor, a pile of baby clothes yet to be delicately washed in Dreft, a recliner we need to get rid of, and a husband watching shows on the Internet. Even worse: a person from my work promised he would come to my house today and build me some shelves in my laundry closet, but he called at the last minute and canceled, leaving me looking at crap sitting everywhere that really should be neatly organized on some freaking shelves! I then proceeded to break down. We ARE NOT ready for a baby.

The husband's suggestion to the car seat (which he thought was the sole reason I was having a break down, go figure) dilemma? Let's install the car seat behind the passenger seat so it can be pushed all the way forward. One of us will always ride in the back seat with the baby. What?? One of us will be a chauffeur for over a year?? No thank you. I'll give him props for trying to make me stop crying though.

I just don't feel ready. I just don't feel prepared. And now after the break down, I've had a hot shower and I'm sitting here trying to ignore the back pain I'm feeling and I'm watching my belly rumble rumble. That's right, even in my frustration this baby continues to kick, hit, doing cartwheels maybe? I don't know, but moving, moving, moving. It's uncomfortable.

And to make matters even worse, I ran into a pregnant lady in the bathroom of a restaurant Saturday, who based upon her small size I was guessing was maybe 28 weeks pregnant. I asked her how far along she was. She said 35 weeks!! I'm only one week ahead of this lady who looks small and perfect??? It didn't help that she was wearing a cute name-brand maternity outfit and I was rocking a pair of black velor pants and tennis shoes. Don't think that lady didn't enter my mind today while I was breaking down? She did!

In the words of my last posting - - - I'm done!